clevermonkey.org: a life in progress

Please be aware that the Eco-Monkey World Domination Inc. executive team will be temporarily relocated to our West African offices for the next three weeks, starting August 22^nd. The intention is to scout out new investment opportunities in and around Accra, Kumasi and the resort areas in the lower Volta region of Ghana.

This means that the home office has been left in the capable hands of Entropy and an ill-fed and sexually dangerous pit-bull. In the unlikely event that one or more of the hosted Eco-Monkey services becomes unavailable during this time, our advice is to get outside and enjoy the nice weather we've been having. We will delete complaints upon our return mid-September.

To contact the Eco-Monkey executive team in case of a real emergency, please see the About page. This pretty much means email only, as we tend to move fast and use disposable phones that are hard to track.

Thank you for your time and attention.

21. Earth

100 snapshots.

Top 10: Things Lame Gendered Web Sites Fall Back On

Here's an actual conversation between two second-year college students interning at AskMen.com while taking a coffee break from their rich and rewarding careers in The New Publishing:

Features Intern: We have to come up with content for tomorrow, but all the writers are watching the Olympics and playing foosball.

Technical Intern: I know what you mean! The guys on my team have fucked off, too, but they said I had to finish all of this layout work by the end of the day.

FI: It's so unfair!

TI: I know! And my mom called and told me she's turning my room into a place for her craft stuff.

FI: Sucks.

TI: Yeah.

FI: So, what are we going to do?

TI: I dunno. We have to come up with something. I have to pay for tuition this year.

FI: Well, it's not like anyone cares if we repeat ourselves. It's an IGN site, after all.

TI: True. Another top 10 list?

FI: Bingo. Top 10 what?

TI: Well, it needs to be funny. It's always funny when we make fun of girls, right? How about The Top Ten Things That Are Totally True About Bitches, Only The Bitches Don't Believe It?

FI: ...? Dude. You are not handling that break-up very well.

TI: Sorry.

FI: But you are on the right track, I think. How about The Top Ten Things Only Men Can Do?

TI: Awesome! [high-fives] Wait. So what are the sorts of things only men can do?

FI: Oh, you know. Math and stuff.

TI: Gotcha. Ok, I'll go figure out the first, second, third column flash ad placements, and work on the header and footer ads, and cook up the annoying click-throughs. You get the content ready and I'll set up the publish job for tonight.

FI: Ok. Make sure you have those stupid menu pop-unders activated so the list is hard to navigate. This will take no time. Writing is easy.

[Read the rest...]

61. Music

100 snapshots.

100 snapshots by me and by others.

Rebirth Death of the cool

Well, there you go. Nikon must have heard me bitching about their point-and-shoot options for a second camera.

The specifications for the new Coolpix P6000. (I'll admit, I always hated the sound of the Coolpix marque. It just feels like they are trying too hard.)

I need to go down to my local today and try it out. If the raw performance is up to scratch (and the large internal buffer coupled with processing engine tweaks gives me some hope it is) I may just have a new wishlist item.

Oh, it will have to get in line behind the new Mac. Considering I'm counting uptime in hours now, this is pretty much a priority.

Oh dear. Nikon totally fucked up on this one. Buried in a footnote is an explanation of the raw support they offer for their flagship point-and-shoot:

COOLPIX Picture Control NRW (RAW) files can only be processed in-camera. NRW (RAW) files are compatible for use in-camera, with ViewNX (Window version only) or with WIC based applications. Capture NX, Capture NX2 and NEF files are not compatible with NRW (RAW) images.

So, they developed a new raw format that is incompatible with their own NEF format, and can only be accessed with their own Windows-only software. Given how nasty their NEF-based software is, this is not exactly a point in their favour. Knowing Nikon, I'll actually have to pay money for a copy (or later upgrades) of this software, too. It is possible they will open up a small part of the format to vendors like Adobe who can then make WIC based applications (as they did with NEF) but I'm not going to bet the farm on it.

I'll never understand why Nikon has to make their raw formats so super-sekrit. What possible value does a proprietary format give me, other than vendor lock-in? I've just finished converting all my raw images to DNG, and I no longer process a NEF beyond first converting it to DNG. NEF is dead to me, and NRW is a still-born abomination, as far as I'm concerned.

Congratulations Nikon! All Coolpix models are now completely off my shortlist until you change this policy.

Good job, guys.

Hayden Panettiere naked

I asked Google the question which starlet would you like to see naked? in order to decide, well, which starlet should be the next clevermonkey.org pin-up ~~tractor~~ girl. You can see some of our previous pin-ups.

And then I picked the one that was at least 19-years old.

So, it appears that the intertubes want naked pictures of Hayden Panettiere, or pictures of Hayden Panettiere nude, or pictures of Hayden Panettiere in her cute cheerleader outfit.

So, since we at Eco-Monkey World Domination Inc. are in the business of giving the internets exactly what they want, I went and scooped all the paparazzi with a nice picture of the talented Ms Panettiere completely, totally and utterly nude. See more below the fold.

[Read the rest...]

You know, like a rd or a sht; a bm, br or b***n

The iTunes Music Store thinks the song name Gallows Pole (made famous by Led Zeppelin) is naughty.

Y'see, I wouldn't have given the word pole a second look; now that it's been asterisked I'm all Beavis and Butthead about it.

Heh. You said pole.

pop (a slight return)

Eleven jars of home-made Russian Tarragon Pickles (ten are pictured here because one didn't seal and is curing in the refrigerator).

I don't know what makes them specifically Russian, but there you have it.

For some reason I was up at 0730h this morning. I suspect I was trying to escape some very disturbing dreams. So I made pickles.

Most of the jars appear to have sealed properly (despite my being a pessimist), so in 4-6 weeks I hope to have some tasty, properly cured and pathogen-free pickles.

Next week: full-sour kosher brine-cured dill pickles, with extra garlic. I found a farmer at the local market that sells fresh, gorgeous grown in Canada garlic. Yum! Seriously, local fresh garlic is getting hard to find. At the supermarket I can only ever find the soggy, just starting to mold imported garlic. Yuck.

I might just buy a pickle/sauerkraut crock to make them in. Stuffing cucumbers into jars is a funny business.